Leftover Chinese: Got a Case of the Fridays

So I left my tube of hand lotion at home this morning because with one foot out the door, I applied some to my cracked-skin and forgot to put the lotion back in my man-purse. Cracked skin near the finger tips is especially annoying because I actually need that skin to play instruments. So guess what I did during lunch today? Yep...purchased a bottle of lotion. That brings the amount of bottles that I own to THREE. Is there some sort of "man rule" about that?
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In participating in my first ever "texas-hold-them" poker tournament last night, I learned two things. First, a skeevy moustache and stocking cap apparently says "Hey look at me, I'm a real poker player." The experienced sharks didn't know what to make of me and assumed I knew what I was doing at all times. Of course I didn't let them in on this fact, so I get to continue the con next time. I eventually busted out and finished 12th out of 18. That leads to the second lesson: I got a hell of a lot to learn about this game. Those TV shows all make sense now.
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An old friend is trying the online dating thing and he's asked for my input. He sent excerpts from a farily long e-mail, and without his permission I will now share with you excerpts of my translation or commentary:

~ Letter: "in this case, i'm going to continue to try and wrestle some good tidbits out of that brain of yours."[emoticon]
Translation: "The next two emails will determine if I want to meet you and, by extension, possibly sleep with you."

~ Letter: "i'm a USAF brat and was transplanted here about 10 years ago."
Translation: "I have trouble staying in one place / relationship, but I do love a man in uniform."

~ Letter: "i've got more tastebuds than the normal person"
Translation: "I'll try anything once. Anything."

~ Letter: "i can also be a homebody/busybody and i also like getting out and seeing music..."
Translation: [generic generic generic]

~ Letter: "...such as incubus this month..."
My Commentary: *barf*

~ Letter: "...a couple months ago was rancid (i missed out on the thievery corporation a little while back, unfortunately)... among a few other things."
Translation: "If you study the bands I list here, you can probably bet I have a lot of guy friends."

~ Letter: "i'm long-winded over email, but in person, i tend to be more of the quiet type."
My Commentary: The longer the email, the faster you should run becuase you'll have nothing to talk about in person and that's no fun, is it?
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In response to comments left to the New Years Eve video clip: Yes, that is flan..and yes, I'm wearing the imfamous linen wedding suit. The Flan was good and the suit will be worn until it falls apart. I didn't spend $125 to have an Thai internet suit taylor make me a suit to wear once. It's turned into my NYE/Joke suit.
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This morning, I ate a package of Pez candy without using the dispenser. I don't think that's against the rules, but I'm told otherwise. What's the rule on that?

Hrm...time to moisturize.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .