Leftover Chinese Closes up Serious Month

Ah yes the air has been getting heavy this month, but spring might be showing up and the clocks jump ahead in a few days. Time for some fun, but first...let's close off SERIOUS MONTH. My parents mean well and provided mightily to get me to where I am today. I mean, shit...I consider myself very lucky to have been born into the family that I currently have. But I'll still present to you things I didn't really need to hear from my parents while growing up (life era in parentheses). Short rebuttal follows.

"Why do you have to be so idealistic?"
(Post-College)
Ambition.

"You know that space shuttle that crashed over Texas because God punished the Israelite for what they're doing to Palestinians."
(Post-September 11th)
What?

"Are there going to be young African-Americans at there? Don't go!"
(Late High School)
Why?

"So? It's nice to have money so you can be happy! What wrong with wanting good things?"
(College to Present)
See it. Want it. Buy it. Own it.

"Why do you have to be so idealistic?"
(Post-College)
Repeat.

"No, you can't play with your friends today. It's too cold."
(Elementary School)
They'll mock me.

"No, you can't take tennis lessons/piano lessons/or attend basketball tryouts. I don't like driving at night/in the winter."
(Ages 10-16)
Development.

"Why not an A?"
(Education)
Because.

"Don't take taxi cabs, walk around the city, or stay out at night."
(Chicago)
Sure.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom in the morning?!?!? How many times a day do move your bowels?!!"
(Age 10)
Sitting in one stall, my dad berated me from the sink area because I sucumed to diarrhea on a family shopping roadtrip to down town Chicago while a dude was in the next stall...more funny than embarrassing. I didn't have to see the guy walk out of the bathroom. My father, on the other hand, did.

"Are you 'monkeying around' in the basement with her?"
(Adolescence)
Uh.

"We're getting you a Nintendo because you're always over at Jimmy's house."
(Second Grade)
Attention span shot by age 10.

"What can I say? She wants the Viagra."
(Spring Break)
Hah.

[Well...that wasn't said by my father, but I was at the office one day during spring break when an elderly couple walked out of his consultation room.]

"So you're not with her anymore?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
(Every time it happens)
Thanks.

"What happened to her? Why not her?"
"Last month you were happy we broke up."
"No I wasn't."
(Every time it happens)
Thanks (again).

...and I STILL turned out the way I did. Happy SERIOUS MONTH.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .