How Not to Learn a Popular Song in Fifteen Minutes
(or...how to learn a rock cover if you're an ass like me)



- Listen to song at work.
- Hang out for a weekend.
- Consult the On-Line Guitar Archive for what the guitar chords may or may not be and scribble the progression on nearest blank piece of paper.
- Play around with chords on piano until they sound familiar.
- Practice song structure.
- Laugh at self for having learned the song without having heard it in four days.
- Question self for not taking that scholarship offer eight years ago to study music.
- Shake Head.

Bonus List: How I learned music for former Van Halen-esque cover band

- Hear singer and lead guitarist talk about song.
- Give them strange look when they suggest a song by Creed.
- Ask them if they're serious.
- Assure band that you'll learn the song before next rehearsal.
- Do nothing until next rehearsal.
- Study recordings used by the singer and guitarist during rehearsal to settle arguments as to how the song was played on the original band's live album.
- Run through song with band a few times, needlessly embellish bass part (read: two octave arpeggios/scale runs/slap bass) whenever you can.
- Assure band that you'll have the song learned before next week's show.
- Don't touch bass until showtime then be the only guy on stage who gets drunk during the show.
- After the bar clears out, hear a cute girl who seems to have stuck around say to you: "My brother says you're the best bass player he's ever seen and he goes to a lot of shows and sees a lot of bands..."
- Miss intentions completely, sheepishly make self-deprecating comment, politely thank bar patron and continue packing up gear.
- A few months later, realize what you missed out on that night.
- Shake head in disgust.

Conclusion as it relates to Karma:
Music is the beautiful girlfriend I insist on treating like shit. As a result, I tend to be amazingly clueless when a woman is interested in me. I blame nobody.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .